Tragedies, burnout, and many surprises will interrupt a creative habit.
The periods of my life where my creative output was highest, were the periods where my mental health was most intact. I’ve stagnated for a long-time, under the impression that I simply lost interest in creative work due to desiring more material security. While this does play a big role in where my energy goes, I’ve only recently learned I had unaccounted for major gaps in my mental health. Many of the struggles that I had staying motivated went back to feelings of deep inadequacy and shame of those factors. Taking advantage of more health care options did require that I pursue non-creative paths. I underestimated just how much my mental health played a role in keeping my creativity alive.
It takes a great deal of self-preservation in order to create the lifestyle that incubates more creativity. The need for material security, combined with the desire for validation of one's work, always creates an obstructive tension to the work itself. There is always a block around the corner. There will never be a point when blocks aren’t present. The war is ensuring those blocks don’t become weapons of self-destruction. There is more to life than simply making art, but living life well is an art. We imbue it with meaning as a painter applies paint to a blank canvas. Stepping away for a while is nothing to be ashamed of. Doing so requires its own bravery, especially when it's easy to overly attach to the identity of being an artist. Building such an identity comes with its own value, but there is a tendency for that identity to become its own mask, distorting the work that needs to be done.
The creative process is not easy, and any interpretation of it that claims so is not to be trusted. There are periods between ease that are always a reminder that without a process, work will grind to a halt. The lack of process is another major reason most give up on creative work. So if life is a creative project, what does one’s life require? Process. There are countless self-help books that can be found to find examples. What matters is that the work starts and never stops.
When I took a break after many years of not consistently writing and creating work, coming back was like submerging myself in an ice bath. While I always gave myself credit for periods of being productive and industrious, I really underestimated how mental health is key for creative motivation. When mental health is a priority, it forces a degree of accommodation that embraces self-care. A process needs to change with the artist, or it otherwise becomes a prison made by a previous self. Sometimes the process is no longer a good fit, and when new needs are uncovered, maybe it was never a good fit all along. It might be seen as heroic to suffer for the sake of appearing effortless, but when the validation is gone, all that is left are the consequences.
Put your health first, and what was once war will instead become a path to peace.